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Monday, August 30, 2004 

Something I hate to face..

Going back to camp liao. sian. But actually it doesn't seem so bad when I am there, when I see all my sectionmates with me. hmm. Gonna be a busy week.. I think we're gonna get started on more 3d models for next yr's NDP. Hope everything goes well and maybe can earn a day off. Haha.

Arh.. days off. Jit once said that I think like a man. At the end of everything, I do work and be enthusiastic just because I eye days off and that I have no integrity..somewhat. Think it's quite true. Maybe thats why he's in OCS and I'm next door @ SCE. o well.

Went to church just now after a few weeks of absence from there. Prayed for peace in my household now that my parents have been on a cold war ever since I was out from the CEC. It seems as if something must happen to me, then will they work together as one.
Just last week I had an appointment with my psychiathrist. I said I no longer have any problems at the army, at least for now, but what troubles me is the tension at home between my parents. Especially when I'm in camp and those 2 adults are acting like kids, not acknowledging each other. Upon her reply, I was really disappointed and very worried. She said that sometimes parents hold out and tolerate each other after all these years just because of their children. And in this case... me. And when we grow up, usually they think that they have fulfiled their responsibility and may go thier seperate ways.. if needed.
Sigh, I really can't accept that. Being a single child is already had enough, and I even have to consider this in time to come? And if this were to happen, whose side will I stand on? Argh fuckit.
I really wished my parents did put in some effort before they got married and think about it. I always had a feeling that they shotgun into a marriage to get a child (yes I know this is rude). But the fact that my dad was 36 when I was born could mean that he was rushing before he got any older.
Which brings me to another point.. the bloody huge age gap between me and him and his stupid oldern chinaman mindset. We hardly see eye to eye because of that. Screw it. Maybe I'll talk about it some other time.

I really do hope that my prayers are answered and my parents reconcile soon. I don't wish to spend 5 days out thinking of home and returning only to be in a middle of a battlefield.
o well, signed off.

-Looking forward for a bettter week agead-