Thursday, February 23, 2006 

Is the family's growin'?

Among the 6 of us... there're 3 unattached. That'll be Jit, Yh and me. Yx has Difei, Quek has Grace, Nigel has.. er.. Grace? Seems that some things will be changing soon as my 2 bros found the apples of their eyes.

Yh seems to be getting straight to business in Melbourne. Four days there and he's got his eyes set on his fellow med fac girl from RJ already. Wow. I wonder how she looks.. and more importantly, if she's the right girl for him. Judging from the past experiences, his heart doesn't ever seem to pick the right girl for him. Somehow, someway he realised eventually that the girl he 1st set eyes on doesn't suit him. Nothing against her, but I hope he'll be able to give himself some time to know her better before committing himself to jio-ing her. -Bro. I know you're (s)excited after keeping your libido in the check for so many years and now that you're all over there by yourself, you're keen on igniting your engine (or some poles?).- Haha, kidding la. Not gonna be easy with his standard in girls, but I sincerely wish him all the best in finding that one girl.

Now onto Jit.. This guy too seems to have his mind set on which path to take after NS. And now that he's clearing leave, he's gonna start with getting a girlfriend! Lol. As the sayin' goes, behind every successful man is a woman, so give this man his girl! My guess is that he's fond of this ex-TJ classmate, tho he claims he can't confirm if she's exactly what he wants either. Unlike Yh's situation, I'd like to encourage Jit to pursue her, not just cause she's pleasant looking, but some gut feeling tells me she's alright with the bunch of his friends too (that's us!) and more importantly, she has some slight interest in him. Similarly, I wish the best in their friendship, and may it blossom into something beautiful.

I guess that leaves me as the only guy left on the shelf? Kinda ironic as it all started with me being the first to take an interest in relationships since young. No money, no looks, no talent, no fate? Bah. Because my ideal dream has always been for us being able to bring our girlfriends along w/out too much of a conflict, I'm gonna have to take my time in finding the girl who doesn't only suit me, but is able to fit comfortably into the clique too.

As for now, there're more pressing matters to attend to. Duties next month. (sigh) Days which I have to return to camp to do 'shit work'. TP Test next month. Decide on a Universtiy. Wisdom tooth extraction. The must-go holiday to London with Jit. How to spend my leaves meaningfully.

2:26 AM | |

Monday, February 20, 2006 


Cheers! CPL (NS) Lee Yuan Hwa Posted by Picasa

3:02 AM | |

 

..farewell, Yh. Hello Mr Sentimental and Mr Nolstalgic

Yh took flight around 24 hrs ago at Changi and the same buncha us were there to bid him farewell. 24 hrs after, and I feel quite empty, as if something is missing despite having a usual Sunday which I stayed at home. It was only a week ago when we're all sitting together having a lengthy chatting session, and now one of our 'brothers' is gone. I think Yh's long term departure to Melbourne's is the closest thing I've lost so far since the death of my grandmother back in 99.

Sounds as if I'm mourning for him eh. Lol. He's already settled into his new 'home' in Melbourne anyway, and there's internet access so we could all still keep in contact. But I still wonder if our friendship can still be maintained if we're only gonna see each other once in 10 months. Could we pick up where we left off 5 years from now? And that's assuming he returns to Singapore.

Emotions setting in again. It took me almost a year to get over with missing secondary school. I wonder how long it's gonna take this time. To me, being apart from such a close friend is almost like having a family member taken away. -shrug- I'm gonna miss a lot... so many things we've done over the years. The late-night gaming sessions.. the aimless walking around town.. the stupid jokes shared.. the cycling trips.. the badminton sessions.. the endless complaints about the SAF.. the TCSS sessions at cafes.. yada yada. Of which none could be repeated.

*sigh* Anyway, life goes on.. these emotions are temporary.. it's just the passing that is hard to get over with. I ought to be glad that our paths crossed... or rather met and merged side-by-side for 9 long years before it split. At least I still have another 4 'paths' going along with me for now. I wonder how long it'll last. I may even be the one pulling out next to further my studies. Screw this island anyway. Singapore doesn't seem big enough for our dreams. Overpopulated, overcompetitive and too few opportunities. Guess that's why no one really have 'childhood friends' these days.. no friendship could remain strong and last forever.

-Ryzier has left the game.

*Salute* my brother. Till we meet again.

2:27 AM | |

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 

In preparation for a rebirth

Lotsa things happened over this long weekend. Starting with Grace's 21st bday party. The BBQ was great, some great lookers were around too. But as usual, I, being me, didn't try to socialise around. We played a nother version of 'murderer' for the majority of the night and suprisingly it was fun. Lotsa laugther and stuff, but I wonder if the 2 poor friends of Grace who're not really in our clique had as much fun as us.

Speaking of our clique. I really feel bad about the buncha us guys staying over at the chalet that night. It seems as if the bulk of Grace's own friends didn't stay due to us. And we're just Quek's friends.. or rather, knew Grace thru Quek, and yet she didn't mind. Sure's hard to find someone as kind and understanding as her. Hope Quek treasures his relationship with her and my effort in BBQ-ing with that little bottle of wine made up for my stay that night. :P

In any case, that night could probably change me for life. Led by Yh during a talk about goals-in-life/studies/focusing and stuff, my buncha buddies put hella an effort to lay this train back on track before he became a giant wreck. A 2 hrs+ talk set me thinking about what I'd wanted. I'd been happy with my friends these while..but to a certain extent, they made sense by admitting that even they themselves can't stay together forever. Yh's taking off to Australia to pursue his dreams soon. Jit, Yx, Quek all know about what they want in life and are working towards it. And it's just a matter of time before they each go their own way to follow the path that leads them to their goals.

I really shouldn't be standing back at the crossroads scratching my head when that happens. They're right..no matter how grim things look for me, age is still on my side and it isn't too late..yet. I need a goal, I need to find my motivation, I need a purpose. It's unbelievable to think that the last time I set a goal was in pri 4 for a math test. Risks have to be taken in life and I guess I ought to start doing so - No point getting all comfy and hoping it stays that way for it will never be permanant. I may just head to abroad to study for all 3 years afterall.. a decision that could make or break me. I could flop and learn everything bad, wasting my parents money. Or I could pick up experiences, get a wider network of friends and earn some respectable qualifications. At least it beats staying in Singapore if I'm gonna be educated with people in SIM - a majority of deluded people who think they could still buy a decent degree in Singapore.

I concluded from that night that I should pull myself out of this pessimistic self-pitying state of mine and cling onto any glimpse of hope to make myself successful one day. If my friends could be so frank with me.. and they are yet to give up on me, I should pick myself up too and not just wait for things to happen.

So I guess a rebirth awaits in the later half of this year, which coincides with my 21st birthday, when I am out of army, when my hands are free to do something about my future, when I begin the next phase with what's argubly the most important education of my life. Till then, it shall just be psyching myself up for it, reflecting and making up my mind for good.

Made a start of changing myself by braving myself to ask her. Didn't turn out good, but I must admit that I should have expected it too. At least it's a good start to finalise some stuffs and stay out of the comfort zone being just 'good friends' like what it has been for years. And if it's any consolation, this could well be one of the reasons that would help me make up my mind on heading abroad later this year.

I hope 10 months from now, when I meet Yh again (unless I'm heading to melbourne too), he'll see a much more focused Terry. One that's pulling himself out from a great ravine that has taken years to cross. Until then, I hope my other buddies could still push me along.

1:30 AM | |

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 

How am I supposed to react?

Here goes. I asked my mom to buy a ToTo ticket on my behalf. SMSed her the number and all that stuff. Just now long ago, she claimed to have lost the ticket, or maybe even forgot to buy it even tho she has 2 quickpick numbers and a 4D draw bought on the same date. I wonder if she conveniently forgot the very fact that I'd a number with her, or could she been so forgetful that despite an SMS reminder ON THE SPOT, she still failed to buy the number.

In any case, it was a winning number for Monday's draw. Not the grand prize, but roughly 4 to 5 digits if I hadn't recalled wrongly. I asked her the number and after some desperate searching, she could still tell me "Don't have" and remained clueless about it, unable to confirm if it was lost, or wasn't even bought. Frustrated, I did raise my tone in demanding what the hell happened to it.. and that staring at 2 quickpick numbers which was bought on the same date isn't gonna help recall anything! She reacted by shouting, sayin' I was rude and stuff and started to get teary.

Hey, whatever the case, wtf man. So had I been in her position, I will get my daylights fucked out? And in such situation she can conveniently brush it off? What if it had amounted to a few hundred thousand dollars?
Sigh, is this another lesson on dealing with parents growing old? It's goddamn frustrating. Their reliability is waning which leads to disappointments at times with you not being able to do one thing. And yet you're feeling sympathetic towards them for this.

What a great mid-week break.

8:16 PM | |

Sunday, February 05, 2006 

3 weeks of Febuary and the whole of March left..

It's only been 3 days in camp for me, and I'm already starting to break. Urgh. This book-in won't see me booking out for the whole week except for a nights off on Wednesday. Shouldn't be a big deal - just a normal week, if it had been a few months back. Now just a couple of months away from clearing leave, and returning from a January packed with long-weekends and 2 days week.. 5 days in camp seems unbearable to me. Sianx. Returning to camp tonight, facing a COS duty tomorrow and w/out my transistor radio which was stolen over the CNY weekend. Gragh!

Another boring week ahead.. until the weekend. :) Grace's 21st Bday @ Pasir Ris..an opportunity to befriend a girl after 2 years! ..how unlikely. Anyway, next weekend would probably be the last week we'll get to go out with Yuan Hwa before he flies off the week after. Sigh. Not to mention Valentine's Day, which I've to spend a day off due to the dinner the night before. Ack.. only 5 days left for the rest of Feb and March.

Nothing much more to update.. except that I finally sold.. or rather gave away my house in DAoC. Now I really have nothing that holds me onto the game. I had my fun, it's time to move on. ..to another game unfortunately. :( Other than that, I finally made an appointment to get a referal letter for my wisdom tooth. And while I was at the poly clinic, I also had this lump on my chest checked out. Was kinda worried earlier, thought it could be breast cancer. Well, it does happen to men. ><

Bored.. and out.


8:59 PM | |