Sunday, July 30, 2006 

bad day.. bad week

Couple of days back during a morning lesson.. I played Daniel Powter's Bad Day. My classmate Esper said I shouldn't for it may just happen. Thought she was joking tho... but turns out she was accurate. For the rest of the day, I ended up to be the butt of or jokes.. or rather the clown among the girls, again. Sigh, so much for trying to start afresh... I'm back to where I was in sec sch and Jc. This time.. being bullied by girls who are younger. Well that wouldn't really be my greatest concern since it's a position I've been accustomed to over the years.

However, it has been a pretty bad period for my friends and I. Yx and Jit been having a fair share of problems.. even Yh who's in Australia has been sent to some rural area for a week. I wonder how it'll be like for him. Can't imagine him in those Thailand training area, maybe complaining about insects or the lack of clean water. -shrug- Anyway, I really hope both Jit and Yx will be able to pull through this tough/sway times.

As for me, being able to complete a satisfactory assignment and whether I will flunk my marketing (thanks to one incompetant teacher) have been constantly bothering me. I'm gonna have problems coping with schoolwork soon and my biggest problem is still whether and how to make the move. >.<>

1:30 AM | |

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 

Is it wrong?

I was once told it was perfectly fine to like someone. Of course, it's your emotion and it can't be a sin to fall in love, can it?

What about liking someone who's attached then? Would that be salacious of me, knowing that that person already found her other half and yet still can't speak to her without harbouring the intention that I'd like to be with her? And is it going be more immoral of me to even try making a move?

Sigh. Why do I always have eyes for the girls that can never with me? Is it inevitable that my emotions are bound for damnation? Really, like I said before, why give me a heart when I can't feel with it? A pump and a valve would do just fine, wouldn't it?

If I'm gonna be condemned to loneliness, my life would be as good as over when my parents' time are up, and my friends settle down with their families.

9:06 PM | |

Monday, July 24, 2006 


..I could have repaired if I had a decent jack. oh well, up and running after 20 mins anyway Posted by Picasa

8:38 PM | |

 


Sway.. today drive to sch kena a flat. Posted by Picasa

8:37 PM | |

Monday, July 17, 2006 

21 years have gone by..

.. and I am an adult now... well, officially. How do I feel? Nothing much, really. It's like I'm 21 since the start of this year and if it is gonna mean anything, it'll just remind me that I'll have to be responsible for my own actions now. More responsibility and hopefully some maturity? :P

Had 2 celebrations over the weekend, and took a time off from studies. 1st was a chalet at Downtown East in which I invited my secondary sch friends. Didn't want too many grps of friends which would be too much to handle, naturally, I decided on those who have been with me the longest. Vivien went along too, and I'm really suprised she turned up.. more so with her boyfriend. They seem real suitable for each other tho, and he's quite a nice fella too, so no sour grapes here.

It was the usual BBQ-cardgame chalet.. until Yx and Jit had me drinking tequila. After about 3-4 cups full (or thereabout), I felt the room spinning. Anyway, what followed after was toilet bowl-hugging, cold showers, falling off the bed and dropping flat each time I stood up. Man, that feeling was the first and the last. Tho it was hellish, I'm glad I experienced it. And what better timing than my 21st bday?
But I really owe my guests an apology for getting wasted and being unable to do my job as a host. :( Real paiseh that you guys have to show your way out in the morning.

The 2nd one was a gathering organized by my parents at my old house. Lotsa food and stuff, and once again I felt bad that everyone had to take time off a precious Saturday to drop by. My parents presented me with what was supposed to represent the key to freedom - the key to the old car! woots.. only to be told later that they're gonna scrap it at the end of the month. So much for a 2 week present. pft. I really enjoyed myself over the weekend tho, made me thankful of the people I have around me.. my parents especially, for their effort in trying to make me feel special.

Back to school work after today.. first of the assignments due next week. I'd really like to thank those who turned up for the chalet, tho it was unfortunate that I've some close friends who couldn't make it. Well then, next similar occasion = stag night. I'll try to work towards that.






1:40 AM | |

Sunday, July 16, 2006 


Wasted again on the 15th, at home Posted by Picasa

4:27 AM | |

 


Wasted on the 14th, at the chalet Posted by Picasa

4:25 AM | |

 


..cousins.. Posted by Picasa

4:10 AM | |

 


Mmmmm yummy Posted by Picasa

4:09 AM | |

 


Thompson Roti Prata fella at my house.. Posted by Picasa

4:08 AM | |

 


My cake, and I wasn't crying. Just tired and teary I guess. Posted by Picasa

4:07 AM | |

Monday, July 03, 2006 

Why give me a heart, when there's nothing else for it to feel?

One can't have whatever he wants in life.. and it's up to an individual's effort to get as close as possible to fulfilling that dream of his...blah blah blah. Yes, I've gotta consider myself blessed for quite many things.. too many in fact. From being born into a well-to-do family, having a great bunch of friends to being able to drive, and more recently, acquiring a personal laptop pretty much with ease. The list goes on..

However, one large chunk of my heart is hollow.. and it can't be filled with whatever I already have. That cavity in there which is reserved for a girlfriend. Am I THAT desperate? Or is 21 lonely years of solitude justifiable for such behavior? I believe I had my fair share of misplacing my affection in the wrong people and it seems this time it's happened again.

*Sigh* I've never felt loved or appreciated by a girl. Never did had the chance to feel that unique relationship most of my friends have had. Never had a chance to share whatever that makes me happy with the one special companion. Oh what I would give for that. There're so tangible things that I have, or could work towards, but this particular one never cease to elude me.


9:34 PM | |