Yet another week
It seems that time flies. After this week, it'll be the end of 6 months in army for me. Yeah... almost 2 more years to go, but still.. ;P Think I'll have to do my SOC again this week.. since I fell sick last Tuesday. AHM this Sunday.. 10km. I wonder if my legs will fail me. =/
Went back to my old house in Changi on friday after book out, mainly to see my grandmother. Sigh, tho I really hated her when I was small for always giving me a hard time, quarreling with my mom, chasing maids away, etc.. I somehow seemed to have forgiven her after all these years since moving out. Her eyesight is failing her.. water from 1 eye going to the other, and I really really really hope that the damn doctor she goes to can cure her for good. Her back is so hunched that she has problem sitting too. Each time I look at her, I feel guilty and sorrowful, knowing that she's aging just as fast as I've been growing up. Yet, I think of the past, my ruined childhood due to her. What a mixed feeling.
Howver, last friday's visit seemed so different. I really could talk to her.. in my broken Teochew. But still with the help of sign language and some chinese, I managed to communicate with my grandmother.. after say.. 9 years? >.< I wished I could turn back time, or do something about her state. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if there was something taking care of her. But I can't.
I worry about the future now. Aging..death.. all these. My parents, one they, the closest people to me on earth will age just like my grandma. And it's showing. I'm scared. Wonder how I'll face such things in time to come. My mother, after being by herself for more than a month thanks to the damn quarrel between them, seems to be very peculiar these days. Her behavior is getting weird and speaks things that doesn't make sense. I pray that she's fine.. and more than that, my parents could reconcile fast.
The future's really something I hate to confront. The past seems so much better, tho there've been bad times, but at least there're fond memories I can relate to. Maybe that's why I'm someone who lives in the past. I can't let things down easily, neither can I adapt to changes.. especially those that I dislike. =/ Part and parcel of growing up eh?
I wish I could say more, but I've gotta scoot, or I'll be late for camp. Shouldn't have played so much DAoC.
"Bu yao pa, bu yao hui" (Do not fear, Do not regret) - Quoted from some radio D.J.
Went back to my old house in Changi on friday after book out, mainly to see my grandmother. Sigh, tho I really hated her when I was small for always giving me a hard time, quarreling with my mom, chasing maids away, etc.. I somehow seemed to have forgiven her after all these years since moving out. Her eyesight is failing her.. water from 1 eye going to the other, and I really really really hope that the damn doctor she goes to can cure her for good. Her back is so hunched that she has problem sitting too. Each time I look at her, I feel guilty and sorrowful, knowing that she's aging just as fast as I've been growing up. Yet, I think of the past, my ruined childhood due to her. What a mixed feeling.
Howver, last friday's visit seemed so different. I really could talk to her.. in my broken Teochew. But still with the help of sign language and some chinese, I managed to communicate with my grandmother.. after say.. 9 years? >.< I wished I could turn back time, or do something about her state. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if there was something taking care of her. But I can't.
I worry about the future now. Aging..death.. all these. My parents, one they, the closest people to me on earth will age just like my grandma. And it's showing. I'm scared. Wonder how I'll face such things in time to come. My mother, after being by herself for more than a month thanks to the damn quarrel between them, seems to be very peculiar these days. Her behavior is getting weird and speaks things that doesn't make sense. I pray that she's fine.. and more than that, my parents could reconcile fast.
The future's really something I hate to confront. The past seems so much better, tho there've been bad times, but at least there're fond memories I can relate to. Maybe that's why I'm someone who lives in the past. I can't let things down easily, neither can I adapt to changes.. especially those that I dislike. =/ Part and parcel of growing up eh?
I wish I could say more, but I've gotta scoot, or I'll be late for camp. Shouldn't have played so much DAoC.
"Bu yao pa, bu yao hui" (Do not fear, Do not regret) - Quoted from some radio D.J.
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