Judgmental food for thought.
Ever been to a party or a gathering where you need to socialise? Then we see some unappealing people whom are probably the last on the list we'll want to speak to. "we dont deserve to see that buay song face of urs", "ya, that's being selfish" and "see ur face sian alr" are examples of how we judge people by their looks. They do not have to be fat nor hideous, portraying an unfriendly image has the same effect. And that, is rather disappointing.
I celebrated my 21st birthday with secondary school friends I've known for years, people who appreciate me for what I am. Not superficial JC friends, nor camp buddies who have since parted ways. Humans aren't like a book. You don't flip through the preface and hope to understand everything. And I'd like to thank those who had spared the effort to read through 8 years worth of pages about me.
Just as it seemed fine to have been viewed like transparent glass, I guess there's no obligation in making my feelings known either. I do humbly apologize for being insensitive, thereby 'imposing my emotions on others'. I don't have the luxury of a close knitted family, a sibling, a companion or for that matter, even friends without troubles of their own. Pulling a long face in school, or appearing tired, I guess they just reflect a tiny bit of the maelstrom that is actually going through my head. No one could really solve these problems. God? Lol. I begin to question if they had put me in this as a test in the first place.
But I really don't care. I'm past the stage where I was sensitive to what others thought of me. I've pleased enough, and it's about time I make my life of some value. An average 1 in 4 entries in this blog reminds me of what I've missed in the A levels, how much I hate myself for it, and what I should really focus on right now. And if the concentration and angst built up over the years contribute to me not smiling, I think it's a worthy trade off. Still could be a good friend who helps without being a goody-two-shoes and wearing a fake smile.
Can't convince anyone, but I'd rather be a paperback book telling a classic novel than a hard-covered limited edition FHM magazine. At least I know which has more value. :)
"Sensitive" defined as "Susceptible to the attitudes, feelings, or circumstances of others.." Have you had your sensitivity-check today?
I celebrated my 21st birthday with secondary school friends I've known for years, people who appreciate me for what I am. Not superficial JC friends, nor camp buddies who have since parted ways. Humans aren't like a book. You don't flip through the preface and hope to understand everything. And I'd like to thank those who had spared the effort to read through 8 years worth of pages about me.
Just as it seemed fine to have been viewed like transparent glass, I guess there's no obligation in making my feelings known either. I do humbly apologize for being insensitive, thereby 'imposing my emotions on others'. I don't have the luxury of a close knitted family, a sibling, a companion or for that matter, even friends without troubles of their own. Pulling a long face in school, or appearing tired, I guess they just reflect a tiny bit of the maelstrom that is actually going through my head. No one could really solve these problems. God? Lol. I begin to question if they had put me in this as a test in the first place.
But I really don't care. I'm past the stage where I was sensitive to what others thought of me. I've pleased enough, and it's about time I make my life of some value. An average 1 in 4 entries in this blog reminds me of what I've missed in the A levels, how much I hate myself for it, and what I should really focus on right now. And if the concentration and angst built up over the years contribute to me not smiling, I think it's a worthy trade off. Still could be a good friend who helps without being a goody-two-shoes and wearing a fake smile.
Can't convince anyone, but I'd rather be a paperback book telling a classic novel than a hard-covered limited edition FHM magazine. At least I know which has more value. :)
"Sensitive" defined as "Susceptible to the attitudes, feelings, or circumstances of others.." Have you had your sensitivity-check today?
